Someone cuts in line while you were waiting for hours to pay.
You get pushed around by a rough commuter during rush hour.
Some ignoramus pops out of nowhere to give you a rude comment.
1. It's okay to be mad. We all have some sense of what's right and wrong. So naturally, we feel frustration in the face of injustice. The problem happens when we voice our frustration in ways that are displeasing to Allah and could bring us trouble.
2. It's kind of a good thing. Being upset is usually a good indication of people's state. We tend to think that aggressive, loud people are not, but I see them as being emotional. This tenderheartness just needs to be redirected towards something positive.
3. Don't let the dunya fool you. Society/the madia tends to portray aggressive people as self-reliant and strong. We've seen countless movies revolving around a guy trying to avenge his daughter's/son's/wife's brutal death. We're always reminded that "nice guys finish last", "it's a dog-eat-dog world", "survival of the fittest"...
If we don't act "hard", we're weak and submissive. Our tradition taught us that true strenght is self-control, and aggresiveness is weakness. Our beloved Prophet said: "The strong man is not the one who can throw another down. The strong man is the one who can keep hold of himself when he is angry".
4. Don't let your nafs rule. In a argument, outwardly, it may seem like one person is opposing anther. This is not entirely accurate, it's you versus your nafs. If you give in to anger, you're surrendering to your urges. Human beings have lower desires, they must be controlled and channeled. You ride the horse, the horse does not ride you.
5. How should I act in a tense situation? An important thing for me is to remain silent. Do not speak! Leave the place of the argument if you can. Go make wudhu, as anger is from Shaytan and water will extinguish its flames.